12 Aug

Living at home again can be well, the worst (speaking from experience).  This unintentional pitstop leaves many college graduates ego's bruised, confidence shot, and can lead graduates brains toward depressive thinking tendencies.  Your brain may want you to dwell on the bad, sleep in your cave and definitely does not want you out talking to others.  Instead of self loathing,  reminding yourself of the advantages you have may well be your ticket out of living back at home sooner rather than later.

So what could be good about living with your folks again? More time to focus on yourself and your own needs.  Many people do not know what they want to do in life next because they have not spent time really asking themselves good questions about what bring them joy or makes them feel accomplished.  Set up 30 minutes daily to think about your values in life, your interests, strengths you noticed.  What in the past has made you feel successful, whether paid, volunteer or a hobby?  

Less financial pressure. I get it, you'd rather be anywhere but here. After a huge vent session with a trusted person (maybe even a career counselor) take some time to think about how you can leverage having less financial pressure right now. Many of my clients use this time to volunteer places, get to know people and try something new. It's important for your mental health to get out of the house and contribute to something bigger than  just yourself and your own worries. It will boost your mood and help you to feel more purposeful.

 Living at home again can help give you clarity on what's really important to you.  View living at home as if you were a scientist or archeologist studying your surroundings. In other words, "this is not my forever," I repeat, " this is not my forever." This is a short side trip to figure things out, understand yourself better, while you  stop to read the map.  Ask yourself good questions about how you like your environment.   What things do you like about your people group/fellow inhabitants? What things do you wish would change?  If Dad complains about his commute all the time, you may take note of that, in your field journal," local male, moody and disgruntled- commute time a major hardship".  The point of this exercise is to have a little fun and get some good info out of it.  When we are playful we can see things in a different light and perspective.

While living at home again as an adult is no laughing matter, my hope is you can use it for good purposes and remember it's impermanence. Remember that you are in a hard part of your life story, a turning point- you get to choose whether you play to role of victim or conqueror.